Sorry, I’ve been busy living my Karma. It may seem that I disappeared…off the scene for a while…but don’t believe that just because I haven’t blogged for…oh too long… that I left you.
The truth is I have been living out Karmic lessons, KARMIC DEBTS… with family members and husband #2 that I divorced a couple years ago and now miraculously have gotten back on track with him.
Barry is the father of our two babies who are now 9 and 10. Barry and I feel madly in love upon meeting. WE were magnetic! I knew his soul from the past even though he doesn’t believe in past lives, I do.
I believe you have many soul mates and that day in Las Vegas of all places….we were brought together under crazy universal circumstances and serendipitous encounters. We fell in love quickly and chose to have babies, get married and live a fun, exciting life together! The first few years were magical yet challenging having two babies in one calendar year! MY ENTRIE LIFE CHANGED OFCOURSE, BECAUSE I LEARNED THAT NOW I WAS NOT THE CENTER OF MY UNIVERSE ANYMORE…HMMMMMM…..I HAD A NEW ROLE, A DIFFERENT ROLE BUT ONE I KNEW I COULD QUICKLY LEARN AND DO WELL AT BEING A HANDS ON FULL TIME MOMMY!
Even though there wasn’t a lot of rest and sleep. I had created a stay at mom role where I could exercise and sit by the pool during baby naps and still have my facial girl come by the house for waxing and facials, nails and toes. I made new pampering dates at my house and hardly left for the first year except to go to baby classes which I highly recommend so you can all learn from eachother! I had a lot of new stages to go through and learn about! I’ve never been a mother before and didn’t have much experience with my own mother, but I wanted to be the best and really do a great job at consciously creating wonderful children and a great life for them.
Barry was larger than life! He was brilliantly confident and when that side of his spirit dwindled and disappeared all I saw was ego. Sure, he felt differently and he blamed me for things that I was unaware, but that was his side of his story. We started to live two different stories and grew apart. I thought maybe life would be easier without him at all. I didn’t need his nagging and complaining and negative ways.
When things started to go haywire for a while, I felt as if he was pulling me into this downward spiral of all his worst fears coming into fruition. He lost millions of our $ and all his construction money he worked so hard for. I understand how horrific this is for someone who has been a millionaire since age 20! I felt Barry grew depressed and he already had heart disease but he said nothing felt worse than losing me. I know he loved me, but suddenly he had a different weird way of showing it. Through his nagging and complaining and negativity he believed we were meant to be. How can you survive when you see him going down in burning flames? I wanted to help, I tried to help. Maybe I gave up too soon? If I did, the universe would help me correct it…as it did!
All of this was happening after I launched my yoga studio, Just Breathe Wellness Center, Las Vegas, NV. It was a magical time of creation for me and his doubts and fears made it challenging to enjoy all the magic! I continued to do my work, my programs, my CDS and read my book on how to create inner peace, for it saved me time and time again with each tornado that seemed to knock me off my center! So many storms…Would this one ever pass?
The busier I grew with my studio, the harder things got since he was now investing his last million into N.Dakota land development project with the oil fields. Barry is an amazing builder who worked on the biggest and best Casinos and hotels on the strip like The Wynn, Venetian, Bellagio, Stratosphere and so many more!
His energy was low, his bank account was lower and we were in the middle of a divorce that he didn’t want to give me, but he always gives me what I want, he says. The kids were in between new homes and no one was happy that we left our great neighborhood, big home we remodeled and our amazing yard, trees, gardens, bamboo, hot tub and pool. We left the big gym he had welded together for our kids to play on outside where they loved to do gymnastics. We left the trampoline. WE left our life.
I knew the kids were angry, torn, hurt and worried and it wasn’t fair to hurt them or emotionally wound them even on an unconscious level. They were young..but still scars began to appear emotionally. I hated to witness their sadness and confusion. Was it their Karmic lessons to learn to or just suffer watching us go through ours?
Now, our home was empty and ready to sell. It seemed sad at the time but now that we settled in to a whole new home in the Boca Raton, where I knew I’d return to one day by the beach. I am so creative by the ocean. This is where I write. This was where I awakened spiritually and became aware. This is where I created my Just BREATHE Relaxation CD’s, wrote a few books and became a Yogi! S.Florida is where I wanted to be.
Looking back on it…it’s almost as if the universe was saying…it is time to leave Vegas as you wished and time to go back to S.Florida to finish what you started. Of course, If I didn’t go to Vegas…I wouldn’t have met Barry perhaps? Or had my two angels??? Or wouldn’t have learned Kundalini from the most incredible teacher, Judith Gabriel. I wouldn’t have found my love for sound healing, playing the Gong and received my singing bowl collection where now I add everything I have learned along the way into all of my yoga or meditation classes! It was overall a great adventure! Whether scary at times, brilliantly confident or madly in love…I was glad to know when we returned to S.Florida that our new home was waiting for us.
I wasn’t even sure if I would stay even though Barry bought this new house for the kids and I for cash. We got a great deal! I wasn’t sure yet if I should keep our family united under one roof…so there was more confusion and healing time before the compassion settled in and we finally came clean with our forgiveness and boy let me tell you, when we did, it was like a symphony, a choir of angels opened up in my heart and sang! Suddenly our chakras aligned and opened –expanded larger than ever before and we became one. I’m so proud to say, we made it through the storm.
When I left in VEGAS to stand up for myself and not take anyone’s abuse: the yelling and arguing….Maybe I gave up too soon or maybe it was really because it was time to go.
I’ve had many lessons of love, hurt and fear. They say it is through the hard times that we discover the true meaning of love. Well, I’m here to say, “Yes, it’s true…this too shall pass.” I prayed and prayed and affirmed and breathed…I visualized and meditated on Barry healing his broken heart and spirit. I prayed that he would be forgiving. I asked for the strength to forgive, accept and move on. I prayed for our family to be whole so I could return to wholeness. I have to say, that once again, I healed myself. AS I healed myself, the kids and Barry healed too. Talk about the Mirror.
Everyone’s always like, “Oh you have a perfect life!” “You’re always happy.” And people say it as if there is almost something wrong with that??? But the truth is ….Is that I am good at getting back into balance with breath, mantras, meditation, Kundalini and yoga. It is daily work to get there and daily work to stay there. It is inspiring to me to know that all of my exercises and meditations, books and CDS have healed me and I know the way because I have made it out of the burning flames alive and am back on top again! I know how to create and manifest and I know how to create a magical life full of passion. I live it! I walk my talk.
I know my teachings and meditations work because Barry is not only doing better than before and stopped going back into the past to the victim role, he is also happy again. We are in love again. We are parents for our kids again. We are aligned again. The true test is that he loves me so much again because he cleared that slate of his heart and welcomed love back in. Love is the ultimate healer. Love is possible and with it...all else is possible.
I know he’s doing better than ever because he actually wants to invest in my upcoming yoga festival in Boca Raton and he believes in my programs so much that he’s helping to build my next business website that markets my soon to launch next business.
Barry is excited and believes that I am like Tony Robbins but cuter and he loves how I teach, inspire and motivate others while teaching breathing, yoga and meditation. He loves how I allow you to experience the tools that my programs offer while learning how to improve your life so you can take these tools home and practice daily so you too can make everything in your life better than it already is! Meditation is the key to living the life you truly desire!
Today, I feel strong and healthy! I feel better than ever before and I’m proud that I’ve come so far and learned so much no matter how painful it was. Someone once told me, “If today is good…then everything that happened to you along the way is perfect as is because it got you here!” So, even the near death experiences, the shocking events that almost left me dead and all the tears along the way… are now worth it…So, today is good and life is better than ever before! It does just keep getting better just as I affirm daily!
I am here and present and back on the scene sharing what I have tested, applied personally to my own life and believe in these methods, exercises, tools and techniques that I have been using for the last 20 years. My newest launch will be sharing those 20 years of healing meditation and mind programming. I’m so excited to share it with you. Oh, and guess what I just noticed from an incoming text…That today’s my Anniversary! Yep, it still is -even though a piece of paper says divorced…in our hearts we are still married and now we create again together in harmony.
So, lets stay in touch and learn more about the tools in your tool box for life that will help you get out of fear and return to love. Thanks for being there for me believing in me.
With love and light,